Objects from my past are mind-raping me.?

I know exactley how you feel. Whenever I listen to a certain song, it reminds me of when I was little and it hurts my heart so I change it. I get flasbacks of when I was little and it pains my heart becauses when I was little, I faced a lot of things that was way too hard for me to just let it rest in my heart. My dad also left me. Yours probably died and I'm so sorry for you. But my dad left when I was born and I beat myself up wondering why he left me. "did he leave because of my mom? Because of me?" "Did he leave because I dont have a good brain? Is it because I'm a girl?" "Was it because he couldn't take the responsibilities for a second chld?" I ask myself those questions over and over and it pains my heart to face my past. I am trying to live in the future but the past keeps drawing me back. Right now, my hate and sadness are locked up. I dont quite understand that but I cant hate a single soul no matter how hard i try. I am a tom-boy and love pokemon and Naruto... Naruto is what keeps me in the future. Just between you and me, I whish that I could run on all fours just like the demon side of Naruto. I am nervous though, right now, because I am actually typing to someone who knows exactley how I feel. Things form your past can trigger things and open up a door in your mind and make you tear up like crazy... please. Email me... You are the first person who knows how I feel. I need someone who understands as a friend. I am begging you...